I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
