just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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