can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You made out with two different species that night
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
