I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
