Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
They took my balls.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
