cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
