Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
