So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I love you.
Bad choice
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
