apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
