I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
