Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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