? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
