i think my mom watched the whole time
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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