it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
