Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
