Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
my being single is dangerous.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
