u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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