OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
