We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
