You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
