you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
