oh god the rape fog is back!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
