Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
