Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
