i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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