So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
