Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
