Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
