his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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