I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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