Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
