is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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