You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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