she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
