I will die if light touches me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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