i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
