THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
