please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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