At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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