Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Bring me that man meat
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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