Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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