It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
