Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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