Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
