they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
