yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
