i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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