God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
