Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
