I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
